


Dreaming Neon Black

by Revelation_Dis



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Suicide, Child Abuse, F/F, Menstrual Cycles, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, food denial, score one point for Hordak in this, you decide if this has a happy ending or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revelation_Dis/pseuds/Revelation_Dis
Summary: Catra's been at her limit for a long time now, and she doesn't know how long she can cope with the pain.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	Dreaming Neon Black

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during season 4, after Scorpia leaves the Horde.
> 
> Fic title from the Nevermore song "Dreaming Neon Black"

_Hey Adora,_

_It’s been awhile since we last spoke, hasn’t it? Adora...this is going to be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. First, let me make something perfectly clear; it took me a long time to come to this decision. I’ve decided that I’m done. I’m done Adora, I can’t do this anymore. I thought that being away from your shadow would make me stronger, and it did, but not in the way I wanted it to. Being second in command is difficult. Sometimes I feel like I’m babysitting Hordak while he mopes about Entrapta._

_I sent her to Beast Island, but you probably knew that by now._

_It’s chaos here, and not the fun kind either. I watch all the recruits running around without rhyme or reason and I think to myself, ‘Was I this bad with Shadow Weaver? Is this why she beat me so often?’_

_Yeah, Adora, all of those times I wasn’t in our bunk? It was because Shadow Weaver was being a sadistic bitch. You remember that week she wouldn’t let me eat anything because I rolled my eyes? When I finally got to eat it was...only if I did so like an animal. She made me crawl on all fours and eat from a bowl like some sort of beast._

_But according to her, that’s all I am._

_Her favorite thing to do with me though was to bind me with magic while she wailed away against my flesh, often scourging me in the process. Afterwards she’d practically dump me in near scalding water and scrub at me until I was clean._

_That wasn’t worst of it though. You know how a girl’s first period is supposed to be like I don’t know? Well Shadow Weaver seemed very happy when you had yours. I assumed it was a good thing._

_Know what she told me?_

_“If I spot even a drop of your filthy cunt blood anywhere, I will bind you hand and foot, and let the senior cadets have their way with you.”_

_Imagine, telling a 13 year old that you’re going to have an entire baton of older cadets brutally gang rape her if she has an accident._

_Don’t worry, nothing of the sort happened._

_Oh, one guy did try at one point, but let’s just say he’s a eunuch now. It was also one of the few times that Hordak stood up to me._

_“You mean to tell me that one of your cadets was about to rape one of my force captains, and you saw fit to bring her here for punishment? You disappoint me, Shadow Weaver.”_

_Enough of that bullshit._

_Adora, how do I put this? When we went our separate ways I tried to hate you. I thought that perhaps if I hated you enough that I’d have an easier time when I had to kill you in battle, but no, it doesn’t work that way. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person, but I love you Adora...I always have, but I don’t dare for a moment assume that you feel the same._

_Sometimes I used to lay in bed at night, and I’d have fantasies about you...about us. Then I’d hear Shadow Weaver’s voice in my head calling me disgusting, and that someone like you would never return my feelings._

_I’d believe it._

_Especially now._

_With all of the things I’ve done to hurt you, and your friends, what right do I have to your love? I don’t._

_Adora, I’m sorry, for everything._

_I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for taking the cowards way out._

_I’m so...so...sorry...maybe this was a bad idea...I…_

_I’m sorry, Adora, I made a mistake...don’t wanna die~_

As Adora read the last line of Catra’s letter to her, tears fell against the already tear stained and bloodied pages of the letter. She looked up at Scorpia who was cradling the young Magicat close to her.

“Is it too late?” Adora asked.

Scorpia tried to remain strong. “She was in bad shape when I found her, but I can still hear her breathing. Maybe there’s hope?”

Adora reached for Catra, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “Catra? Catra, I’m going to save you, I promise, so please stay with me.”

**Author's Note:**

> My writing process in steps
> 
> 1\. Discuss a fanfic.
> 
> 2\. Discuss a possible aspect of said fic.
> 
> 3\. Have a song fucking smack me upside the head like a wet trout.
> 
> 4\. Get inspired.
> 
> 5\. Write


End file.
